


what a feeling (to be right beside you now)

by merthurxmalec



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Trailer, Gen, I had to put the iron dad one in cmon, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), its that scene in the trailer, or scenes I guess, so the trailer ruined me so y'all can suffer with me too, they're both pining idiots as always, you know which scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 05:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18337148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurxmalec/pseuds/merthurxmalec
Summary: "Do you trust me?""I do."~Or, alternatively, the thoughts that went through their heads in between.





	what a feeling (to be right beside you now)

**Author's Note:**

> Hiyaa! So the trailer yesterday ruined me, so ofc I needed to write something and cry. I missed like 3/4 of my lecture to write this in the morning so this isn't beta'd or even proof-read. This is just me needing a way to cry. 
> 
> Title from 'What a Feeling' by One Direction. Love me some stony + 1d combos.

“Do you trust me?”

 

Tony swallowed slightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing down his throat. It felt as if something was stuck there, like he couldn’t breathe. Tony knows what it feels like to not be able to breathe – he is as closely acquainted to that as he is to the pressing pain on his chest cavity, or the gnawing ache in his heart.

 

Tony knows the answer to that question before he even asks it, and he knows that he dreads the answer. Trust is a fragile thing, he knows – and more importantly, it is something that cannot be communicated in words. Actions have always spoken louder than words, after all, and Steve’s actions suggest the contrary.

 

_He is my friend._

_So was I._

And yet, Steve’s eyes held on to Tony’s. Steve’s azure eyes had always felt like a safe haven for Tony – it was, after all, the first thing he had seen upon embracing the darkness of death. Tony stark had closed his eyes that wretched day all those years ago with the image of darkness and fear and loneliness embedded in his brain. But then – then he had opened his eyes, and he saw blue. It was no longer the pitch black image of the night sky, galaxies away from home and everything he holds dear. No, instead it was the deep blue of the night sky, it was the twinkle of stars that represented love and hope and _home._

(He also remembers seeing the eyes another time, this time with the reflection of snow and his own betrayal. But then he had felt the hard edge of metal embed itself in his chest, and he doesn’t remember much else after that).

 

He looks at Steve now – really looks at him, in a way he hasn’t allowed himself to since he came back to Earth all those weeks ago. Steve looks at him differently now, less guarded.

 

Tony doesn’t know how to take it.

 

It feels like forever has passed until Steve starts nodding his head, but also slightly shaking it, as if what he is saying is convention, set in stone.

 

“I do.”

 

Tony holds his hand out, and Steve meets it half way, clutching it tightly. The first touch of their skin is pure, good and so so familiar. Tony has dreamt of this touch for a decade now, of soft skin gently pressing against his. The touch is electric – a spark shoots up his arm and all he can do is stare. Stare, because the world around them has been stripped bare; of the noise, of the war they have both been caught prisoners of.

 

All he can see is Steve.

 

All he can think is:

_I love you._

* * *

 

 

“Do you trust me?” he says, his voice breaking with the question.

 

Steve’s heart clenches at that, because how could that ever even be a question?

 

His eyes were twinkling like stars, the only thing in the dark would around them that gave any resemblance of hope. And yet, thye were not bright anymore – they were devoid of the spark they had once contained, of the thousand little constellations hidden deep inside. These eyes were tired now – tired of carrying the weight of the world that never gave them any credit, tired of the betrayal by the people he trusted and held dear, tired of losing the people he loves.

 

(His heart still aches at the frame of the boy sitting proudly on Tony’s desk, of the sobs that had wreaked through Tony’s body, the cries all intelligible except for the constant murmur of a name.)

 

Steve can see the uncertainty in Tony’s eyes, the fear of rejection yet again, and Steve wants to pull him in. Pull in in and hold him close and cry – tell him that it was only ever him.

 

It could only ever be him.

 

But he can’t do that. He lost the right to Tony a long time ago, whether it be friendship or something more. So instead he nods, tries to put as much conviction in his voice as possible.

 

“I do.” He says, because of course he does.

 

Tony holds his hand out and Steve meets him half way.

 

He looks at Tony this time, really looks at him. He has aged now, both physically and emotionally. His hair is greyer, little specks of white scattered over his face, the eyebags under his eyes big and dark. He hasn’t been able to sleep in a while, Steve knows – he can hear the cries that come out of Tony every night on the rare occasions when he can actually fall asleep.

 

_Peter,_ he keeps screaming, _I’ve got you kid. Don’t go, I’ve got you._

He repeats it over and over again, and all Steve can do is wait for the gasp that comes not long after, for the quiet sobs that always follow.

 

Time has not been good to Tony Stark, and yet Tony Stark has been nothing but good to the world that doesn’t deserve him.

 

He wants to hug Tony, hold him close and tell him it will be okay, over and over again until Tony starts believing it, until Steve starts believing it, too.

But he can’t, so instead he just clasps Tony’s hand with a tight grip.

 

“Together.” Tony says, and Steve can’t help but smile.

 

“Together.”

 

Tony smiles then, his eyes faraway with a distant look on his face and it almost eases the pain off his face, almost makes him look like the Tony he knew, before everything. Tony looks beautiful in that moment, ethereal, and all Steve can think is:

 

_I love you._


End file.
